Life's truths...

It's been quite a while since I last posted. Summer is always very busy. I hope to have a post that will enumerate some of the activities we've been up to, but for now I wanted to write down some things I've been thinkin' about. I don't expect them to be profound to anyone but me, but I still want to write them down because a lot of my experiences lately have led me to think a lot about these "life truths"....

1) Don't judge what you cannot see.

It's always a crappy feeling when you get the vibe that others are making some negative judgments about you.
Some of the time, the judgments might be deserved. In which case, I find I can deal by saying to myself that maybe the judgments are right and that "I can do better" and work on it, or I find comfort in knowing that I'm offering my best self and that's all I can do.
Some of the time, however, judgments from other people might feel unjust and falsely assumed. I hate those situations, because sometimes it seems that people make up their mind about you without really knowing the full story or experience that might prompt them to think otherwise.
I have seen some of the latter lately, and it really bothers me. Not only because of my own hurt feelings, but because I've also seen a lot of people in my life lately who also feel wrongfully judged. It hurts.
Making rash judgments can be hurtful, but it's even worse when you choose to tell others about those judgments. Is there really a need to convince everyone that they should think the same negative thoughts about someone you supposedly care about?
We all judge each other too quickly in life. Rarely do we offer, even those closest to us, the benefit of the doubt. Rarely do we try to learn the full story before writing someone off our list, so to speak.
I write this down because I want to remember to not be this person who so easily judges. I want to make more of an effort to understand, because in the end, we truly are all more alike than we might think.
I hope if anyone has ever felt wrongfully judged by me that they'll forgive. I certainly can't claim perfection in this.
So with all of that, I'll finish this with a quote I heard that perhaps offers another thought on the matter: "It's none of my business what you think of me."

2) Very rarely should you offer advice unless you're asked for it.
Maybe this is just my own personal truth I've chosen to adopt, but it is a pet peeve of mine. It always has been, really. But now that I'm a parent, I am even more passionate about this concept. I say that not because I feel like a lot of people have offered me unwarranted parenting advice (not yet, at least), but because now I watch other parents very closely. Through these observations, I've noticed how easily other people judge other people's parenting tactics. It's almost comical to me how everyone and their dog (parents, non-parents, married, single, grandparents, cousins, friends, etc.) all seem to think they're justified in saying, "Boy, if that were my kid I'd ______________" --fill in the blank. We all seem to know what to do, but it kind of goes back to the first idea I expressed about not judging until you've walked in that person's shoes. As it says in one of my favorite Jimmy Eat World songs, "It's easy feeling righteous when removed."

3) The best way to motivate other people in your life is to understand them.
This idea goes along with a lot of what I've already been talking about. I could go off forever about experiences I've had in my life that testify of this truth.

4) I was reading a book by Bill Gates Sr. He was talking about his deceased wife who once said that marriage takes of lot of "suppressing of one's personal ego." I think "supressing one's personal ego" is a great definition of humility.
Reading this made me think a lot about humility and how many instances in life require suppression of the ego. In marriage, for instance. Getting along with someone that lives a vastly different life than you requires a lot of ego suppressing and remembering that there are other perspectives. Or being a mom--That requires a lot of ego suppression, too. Putting yourself aside for the sake of your child....in many more ways than one.
A lot of events have taken place this summer that have prompted some humility on my part. In other words, life has sorely reminded me of the importance of taking a deep breath, attempting to understand, and suppressing my ego. A necessary step I guess we all have to take in life....over and over and over...until one day our humility doesn't have to be so prompted. It comes naturally. Wouldn't that be great.
Okay, that's it for now...