My everyday thoughts always find a way to lead me down memory lane. The memory of you and 0ur memories together are often at the forefront of my mind.
Here are some memories that have come to mind the past while--Precious times I don't ever want to forget:
--Our experiences at ER's. The time in Arizona when I got hives and we didn't know what it was. You tried not to laugh at my swollen face. I was so dang uncomfortable. You were there at my side the whole dang night.
Then when I went to the ER in Ogden for my stupid ulcer. You were so understanding and nice about it. I was seriously sweating bullets. That was the day of Lydia's baptism, which upset me because I couldn't go.
--Do you remember the time in Arizona when we had your bike on our car's bike rack and we accidentally pulled into our apartment's carport without thinking? That was bad. But so funny. One of our neighbors came out and helped us.
--I remembered that one Saturday when we were in Arizona and we got all those shoes for you--Those Doc Marten sandals and those Tevas that you wore clear 'til the day of your death. My mom got you some Vans that year, too, that you wore a lot. Those were my faves of yours.
Andi has your toes, by the way. It's unmistakable.
--I loved how frank we could be with each other. We had no qualms about telling each other bathroom stories. Perhaps that's inappropriate to share, but it sure gave us some laughs. Reminds me of how you hated public bathrooms and how you'd put yourself through misery so as to avoid them.
--I used to get up way early when I was teaching. Harry would follow me upstairs and stay up there with me while I got ready. Then you'd come up and make yourself oatmeal with raisins and send me off. Not all the time, though. Oftentimes you'd get up at five with me. You'd work in your office 'til you went to work.
--Harry had to have another leg surgery this Fall. As his incision was healing, it got kinda' red and infected-looking. I remember this happening with his past surgeries and how I'd always consult you about it. You were always so diligent about keeping an eye on his stitches and putting Neosporin on them.
--I remembered that one night when our neighbor came over in a panic because she had a bird flying around in her house. You went over there and got it out for her. It was kinda' funny. You were the man. :)
That house of theirs was always the bain of our existence in that neighborhood. We spent many a time half-joking as we schemed about how we could get it torn down. It was quite a mess.
--There was a new house built in our Ogden neighborhood that was just our style: A perfectly constructed little Craftsman with all the custom work. You used to walk around it while it was being built. We took great note of it 'cuz we wanted to apply some of its style to our future remodeled Kaysville house.
--I remember the day I dropped my wedding ring down the bathroom sink and I called you in panic and tears. You were so calm about it. You came home that night and took the pipes apart to get it. So glad you got it.
Reminds me of the story behind your purchase of that ring. You learned all about diamond qualities and what all the ratings meant. You insisted on getting the most clear-cut ring out there. You also insisted on a round-cut diamond because that shape is supposed to provide the most pureness and clarity. I remember you often saying, "Nothin' but the best for my baby." :)
--When we redid our roof, you had to put a new ceiling fan in our bathroom. You were SO picky about which fan to purchase. You took forever to decide which one, and you of course decided the most powerful, expensive one was best. You wanted power and quietness all at the same time.
--Spoon tacos. You loved when I made those.
--The lights in our backyard. I was so excited when you put them up. It was so fun having them on, even in the summer. You were all about entertaining.
--I remembered how you used to get one of our big tall glasses and fill it with a ton of ice and a little bit of Mountain Dew. Then you'd chew on ice and watch UFC.
--I'll never forget when Andi was just over a year old and she got that terrible flu. We had to take her to the doctor for a bunch of miserable tests and you were there holding her the whole time.
----I was listening to Dave Ramsey the other day and it reminded me of his phrase to teach kids the "give, save, spend" system. Reminds me of Michael.
--Last month my car was broken into. They broke the window and stole my purse. Totally took me back to Michael and my days in Ogden. Ugh. Reminds me of how Michael used to say that if another theft incident occurred to us, that we were moving right then and there. Also reminds me of the graffiti that was once painted on the fence directly across the street. We woke up one morning to it and we were so disgusted.
--I was driving in our Kaysville neighborhood a while ago when I was once again reminded of our dreams to get there one day. We had such hope for that little house we bought and had so many fun plans for it. I loved that dream because I know it would have happened, and it would have been great. We still would have lived a modest lifestyle while also being able to fulfill our own fun little dreams.
--Sometimes we'd have these amazing little moments when our busy lives would stop and we'd look at each other in amazement, feeling so grateful for our blessings. We loved our baby girl, our little house, and the life we were building. Usually those moments happened on Sundays when we were able to slow down for a bit. But I do remember a few other times, like when we finished the big roofing project and we were so excited to keep making that house our own and to enjoy our little family.
--I'll never forget the Sunday after Chris died. We went to church and then came home, only to sit on the front bedroom bed in total silence for hours on end. It was terrible.
--Do you remember when we first met?--How you'd come over to my house and see me in my stupid leopard pajama pants...How I'd be playing Nintendo by myself on a Friday night? That was in my "swearing off dating" phase. During that time, you had your hair grown out into a curly fro and you used to carry your "man purse" around with you all the time. One time you accidentally left it at my house and I got nosey and opened it up. It had tuna cans and oatmeal packets in it...and anatomy textbooks in it. Very typical of you.
I also remember when we went out on our first date and I kissed you on the cheek. Sweet memory. You made a big deal of that. Pretty cute.
--I hope that wherever you are, you can finally get that orange Blazer you dreamed of for so long. We spent many an hour searching ksl for them and listening about your wishes for this dream vehicle. So Michael.
--When I was pregnant, I remember when we tried all those different Mountain Dew flavors and voted on the best one. We agreed on which one was best.
--Caroling in Ogden with the Young Men/Young Women during that big snowstorm. You, me, and Andi walked home down that snowy hill in the dark and bitter cold. It was a long walk...Wont' forget it.
--My made up tune I'd always sing to him and Andi....
--It made me chuckle to think about that documentary we once watched about the African ladies who drank cream so as to gain weight for their soon-to-be husbands. We thought that was pretty rad. They apparently like their ladies plump.
--When I came home from work in Arizona, before you started school, you used to make me after-school snacks that were ready each day when I came home. It was funny and cute. We'd eat them and watch Magnum P.I. together...my fave.
--I'm sure I've written this down before, but I still often remember your phone numbers: 9419592...5408129...you had another one in Arizona I can't remember though.
--My mom always forwards funny emails...She did so a lot when she was working. She'd always send us countless numbers of them. I'd often have to skip over them, but you'd sit in your office and read every one. I always knew when you were looking at them 'cuz you'd be laughing in there, asking me to come in and look at them.
--April Fool's. The sink sprayer and an elastic. I got soaked and so did the whole kitchen. Basic April Fool's joke, I know, but you seemed to get a massive kick out of it.
The papers I have hung up on my fridge are still wrinkley because of that episode.
I love remembering these good times. I feel so grateful to have made these memories.
Sometimes I feel doubt and worry about losing our connection and losing these memories.
In those times, I have felt a strong reminder to trust in the Spirit and just be true to Michael and true to God.
:)
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