1. That I’d get so used to smelly diapers that I’d stop smelling them so much anymore. Or that I’d love my kid’s bum so much.
2. That I’d never get bored being a full-time mom. Truly, I haven’t once yet said to myself, “I have nothing to do.” If that does ever happen, something really life-changing would have to happen first.
3. That I could lock myself out of my house three times in one week. Okay, two times I locked myself out. Once I locked Michael out. I am not proud of this. As a result of my absentmindedness, Michael had to break a window. Hence a picture newly-installed cardboard window.
4. That I’d become such a grandma of a driver. Finally all the bad experiences with speeding tickets and terrible accidents have made me afraid.
5. That my tenderness (for lack of a better word) would be tarnished by my arguing skills and my insistence to stick up for myself. I married an Allen, what can I say?
6. That I’d become one of those moms with the screaming child in the stores who everyone gives crusties to.
7. That I’d ever listen to Beyonce. She’s got talent, what can I say?
8. That I’d listen to Dr. Laura.
9. That I’d get pissed when people tell me my dog is fat. He’s not fat for crying out loud. No one knows the truth. He's just cute.
10. That being a wife and mom really does mean that when I’m in a bad mood, everyone else is too. It’s really a shame I can’t enjoy moping anymore.
3 comments:
Dr Laura? Really?
Beyonce does have talent AND is a nice person. How could you not like her? ;)
I never thought about it until you said it, but you're right- boredom is a thing of the past. And I agree. Harry is NOT fat. Just pleasantly plump. More to love, baby (for you simpson fans out there)(not Lisa). I miss you, by the way! We're going to try for the library this week.
Yeah, Dr. Laura. Once you can get over her mood swings and total lack of heart, you can see a lot of sense in what she teaches.
Love her PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF HUSBANDS book. Seriously, I think our marriage has survived merely because of that. Maybe that says a little too much about us, but really. She's wise.
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