Preparation

Some events of the last few weeks have inspired me to write down some thoughts--

The other day I heard a terrible story of a girl around my age who lost her husband about two weeks ago. He leaves behind this young wife and three young sons.
As I was talking to my friend about it, she was tearing up and saying how she just can't get the tragedy out of her mind. She said she's been trying to imagine what it must be like to lose someone that close to you and that she has no idea if she'd be able to handle it if she found herself in the same situation. It was like she was reaching out to me asking, "How do you handle these terrible things that happen in life?...How do you not just give up on God?" And, "How can you keep this from happening?"

I told her that she would do the same thing that a lot of us do--She would rely a lot on her faith, because in those moments she would know that's all she has.

I don't claim to be an expert at many things, but I feel like I can say a word or two about the topic of death. I'm sure there are many others who are much greater experts than I. However, my experiences with death have inspired a newfound passion for an important concept in life: Being prepared.

The thing is, I'm pretty sure you can never be fully prepared for your own worst nightmares. There's just nothing you can do that will take away the pain of heartbreaks that large in life. But can you soften the blow? Maybe.

Maybe you can do that by talking to your loved ones. Don't be afraid to talk about the possibilities of your own mortality. Express love often, express wishes, plan ahead. Make sure you have a sufficient education. Get life insurance. Be smart with money. And again, talk, talk, talk. I cannot say enough how glad I am that Michael and I had those uncomfortable but necessary talks about death. For some crazy reason, and I believe it was by no accident, Michael and I had not one or two talks the year before he died, but about four good conversations concerning those possibilities. We talked about money, remarriages, children, our home, you name it. I don't consider this to be a normal thing for young couples to do. In fact, I know it's not normal. But it should be. It really should. Those conversations have helped me so very much as I've had to find my new paths and trudge ahead.

I suppose the most important preparation I ever made that prepared me for this heartbreaking trial was building a foundational belief in my soul at a young age that God is real and that he cares. That belief in God and my subsequent relationship with Him has helped me more than anything possibly could. I practiced faith as a young girl, and I utilize my faith often as an adult. That wouldn't be an easy thing had I not established a testimony early on in my life. I learned to rely on God as a very young girl, and that proved to be the best way to prepare for the future.

I remember sitting next to Michael during sacrament meeting one day and he turned to me and said something like, "We are so blessed. We have been given so much in our life together. The Gospel gives us so much. It has all the answers. And even if we are asked to do the hardest of things, like deal with each other's deaths, we have our faith that reminds us of our eternal bonds."

So very true. So grateful I had a husband who has taught me the importance of thinking ahead and living meaningfully.

It's not always comfortable asking yourself if you feel prepared for the possibilities of the future. And even though I preach preparedness, I know I have much more preparing to do.
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Because of my own experiences, I can't help but think that one way to prepare is to remember those who are living through their hardest of days, and to support them in any way possible, because that's living meaningfully. I have been given so much from people who have reached out to me in my own life, and I am convinced that kind of reaching out is what makes the difference.

I guess that's one of my main points in all of this:  That it is through each other that we can help prepare for the future.

I hope and pray for the young mother I heard about who just lost her husband....and I hope to reach out.